juz wanna thank those hu stood by mi all these times...thanks to sana....sl...hui xin...reen n beng beng...u guys rock k? =) love u all!!

hai...i really dunno wat to do alr...just when i was about to believe u..believe us...believe that all these that is happening is true...just when i was about to give u my all n fall head over heels 4 u...u start to shatter my dream...make what i wished for gone...make my trust 4 u gone..i really dunno alr...u made almost all my defences go down...then at this critical time...u tell mi tt all this that is happening isn't true...making my heart hurt again...y?y when after my defences go down den u tell mi this??y don't u do it b4 it happen??if u did it b4 my defences go down...at least i wouldn't feel so hurt now...i took lots of courage n trust in u to let my defences go down...let the walls i built so long to go down...then u tell mi tt u dun love mi after all..letting my unprotected heart get hurt again...y?i really dunno...

i no...that u telling mi this now is juz being honest to mi...but yet...i'm nt totally honest with u....i told u i felt the same way...which was nvr true...i juz wanted to make things easier 4 u...so tt u wun feel too guilty if u dun love mi animore n want it to stop...but to mi...i'm jus hurting so much right now...tt u have no idea wat i'm going through...i put up a strong front in front of every1 but yet all i need right now is ur care...concern n jus a little love??i dunno...

on the other hand...i'm glad u told mi early...this will prevent mi frm falling even futher n prevent more hurt...all i need now is a definate answer frm u so tt i can stop all this hurting once n 4 all...

i dunno wat to do or wat to say...b4 we even started....i told u to think it through thoroughly b4 u start dating mi...i wanted to b sure...n u even assured mi...so y is it now tt after i believed u u r telling mi all these??i really dunno...all i know is tt i want all these hurting to stop now...right now..

all i want now is a definate ans to whether u want us to continue or not...i no u say u need time but the more time u have...the more hurt i get... ='( this sux..i nvr should've taken this step out with u...i shldn't have let down my defences...should't have let u creep slowly into my heart...all i wanted was 4 u to show me...to guide mi...to teach mi..how to love again...n u did...but juz tt straight after u did...u left mi at ground zero again..can i ever trust u again??i dunno...juz make all these hurting stop now...plz...

yes...in case you're wondering...i'm back!!!hahaha....so...lemme update u....yes...i'm with wei yang now..itz day 6...nt even a week old....haha...we're...i dunno how to say...to me...itz a different kind of feeling altogether...itz nt the same as last time when i was with rx thise ind of feelings...but this 1 is just more...calm?peaceful?secure?sumthing along those lines...hmmm...dunno lei...i considered 4 damn long den decided to go serious with him...dunno if i'm doing the right thing not...all i no is i'm doing wat my heart tells mi to do...itz like a double edged sword...1 side i know tt i'm going to get myself hurt...all the sirens r ringing in my head...warning mi tt if i go any further i'll commit suicide...all the facts tt he's nt commited n flower heart is placed in front of mi...but on the other end...he juz seems so sweet n nice n real...secure....hai...so i really dunno wat to do at that time...hai....but nw since i chose to go ahead with him...i must stick to it n i feel that i'm really starting to fall him also...he has since opened up so much to mi n even said i love u to mi...but i've said nuts to him...ha...i dunno sia...hai...

right now...i've yet let my defences go down yet...we spend little time together but i'm ok with it...i just hope tt he's 4 true...u know...i dun wanna get hurt again... ='( hai...i juz hope tt he's true...tt we're true...i jumping the unknown...dunno wat's the end of the road...i guess only time can tell huh??pray 4 mi...i really wanna trust him but he has to make me 1st...hai...praying..