hai...invisible i m...online nw...tok 2 him ignore mi...hai...falling...but invisible....

yes..i'm back again...coz i was speaking bout jay...den jay makes mi think of him again coz he like jay oso...so now i'm linking both my blogs with this song..hai...his discman oso is jay's song...1st time tution den he keep on singing jay's song...i still can remember is ge jian n jie kou..hai...the 2nd time was ta de jie mao..n i dare him 2 sing summor...ttz y i oways link tt song 2 him..n ttz y i suddenly like tt song a lot n started taking out yeh hui mei 2 listen...itz nt tt i dun like tt song at 1st...i liked tt song alr but after connecting it to him i started to like it more...hai...but tt dosen't mean i dun like jay...i love jay in the beginning le juz tt he made me love jay more onli..coz as i said b4 in my other blog...my future bf muz love jay like i do...n he does...but he's nt mine...hai...everytime i listen to ta de jie mao i will think of him...everytime i sing ta de jie mao i will think of him...i'm carrying my discman with ta de jie mao in it...itz the 1st track tt i listen to in the cd...ttz y i wan tt song as my blog song...hai...this is madness...i'm seriously losing it...

hai...today...i feel extremely sad...mayb i'm juz being paranoid..but i feel as if i'm really invisible this time...i'm at crossroads now...dunno wat to do...wat to say...wat to think...i juz wan this feeling to go away...

he(the big 1) made mi feel invisible all over again...i haven bin feeling this way since last time..with rx of coz..yup..i dun really like this feeling...hai...i dunno...i guess it started on the day when i gt bk my a-math result..well as sum of u no...b4 the exams he was my tutor 4 a-math...n we had this bet..if i passed he treat mi,if i failed..i treat him...so when i gt bk my results of coz the 1st thing i wanted to do was to tell him wat...but i wasn't able to do tt...so i ren until night time den i sms him...but he nvr reply...den i sad...coz he usually will reply de..n on tt nite when i hav sumthing so impt to tell him he nvr reply...hai...so i went to my blog 4 support..typing sumthing bout my a-math hoping tt he wld tag or sumthing but he din oso...den i sad again...den i went to tag on his board n again i was ignored...den i fell into depression...hai...yes it may seem tt i'm nt concerned or affected by it...but i actually really m...n again...this was how i felt last time...hai...i dunno le...i think i'm seriously losing it...tot tt going out with kelvin n songlin today wld cheer me up budden they made it even worse bcoz they all mei feng du n it onli makes mi think of how gd he is...hai...

den i went online...he's offline le but was online juz nw...den when i came in he's status was online so i clicked his figure den i haven tok 2 him yet den his status set 2 brb den i close ma...den after tt i go c offline le...hai...lian yi shen hi n gdbye dou mei you ah...sad...m i really invisible?i dunno le...hai...

den in sch c him...oso nvr say hi or wat...juz look away...this 1 seriously win alr..hai...guess i m really invisible huh?hai....i hate this feeling!argh!itz eating mi away!crap...i'm feeling crappy all over again...i went through this crap 2 yrs ago n it tok mi 1 yr ++ to erase all of it n now make mi go through this again when nth has started??piangz...i can't take this... =(

yes...i'm here again....n i got a shock when i came in...haa..coz apparently sum1 changed my blog's template...n itz definately nt me...n i dunno hu...so can tt person plz own up??haha...i damn scared sia...haha..n i dun think there's a need 4 all those links la...coz nobody will cum here except the 3 of u...so...ya.. but my guess is sana rite??haha...

yes pp...i shall officially change this into my own xin shi website..haha...yup..i've gt xin shis too u no..

hai...i think i'm going bonkers soon if i keep thinking...yes,i no tt he like sum1 else le budden i juz can't stop thinking la...haha...little ger's infatuation ba...haha...mayb it'll fade away with time...mayb...hai...i dunno...i was really happy on monday coz of him...i've nvr felt so happy b4...ha..i guess seow ling can tell ba...haha...hai...sum1 snap me out of this!he's got all the qualities i look 4...the 'perfect' guy?haha...but i guess itz juz nt meant to b...i'll juz hav to dream more...hai...

n yet when in sch during assembly i look at the other end of the hall n c him...i juz can't help feeling safe n smile...itz so different with him...with him i feel safe n secure even though he's like so far away...haha...he's young but in a way mature i guess...ha...i'm crapping again...i dunno la!

yes...i do look 4ward to both bands but with different reasons...my goodness..sum1 better kill mi...haha...hai....1 makes me fly to the moon...the other makes mi land on earth n feel safe...i really dunno wat to do...or which to choose...but i guess i dun even hav a choice since i'm invisible to both...hai...my horoscope says tt nxt month will b a great month of romance 4mi...as they're chances everywhere...but...will anything happen??haha...will i spend valentines alone again this year?ha...i guess so...nth is happening...i seriously wish sumthing will happen but i guess i'm juz invisible in their lives...

yes...mayb i'm 3 hearts 2 yis...but...i really dunno hu to choose...i dun even have the power to choose...hai....mayb i'll juz continue to keep quiet n watch frm a corner...it'll be enuff though...hai...sumbody show mi the light can?hai...yes..mayb i shldn't be thinking of all this stuff now...but...hai...i juz can't stop myself la...i feel myself falling...more to the 1st one...but i guess it'll juz b a dream..hai...dun wish to spend valentines alone...but wat choice do i have?i ming zhi he gt xi huan de ren le but i still fall 4 him..bad...v bad...n the worse thing is he sees me as a little ger...which is seriously bad!hai...to mi age is nt a prob...but i guess to him it is....anyway...i'm juz invisible la..hai...